Updated: Oct 28, 2018
Some of you who know me may find this hard to believe, but I have always been painfully shy. I was the child who hid behind her father's legs meeting new people. I still absolutely dread walking into a room full of strangers.
If I arrange to meet friends in a pub I will always be a couple of minutes late so they are already there when I walk in. I find new places and new people absolutely exhausting, and I always have.
Which may make my other 'secret' seem strange, because I can sing. I have my Grade 7 voice, and have sung in, and won, competitions. I can stand on a stage in front of a room full of strangers and sing, but I can't walk around that same room and chat to the same people. Doesn't make sense does it?
I guess the reason is I am confident that I can sing, and that people enjoy listening when I do. I have no confidence in my ability to talk to people I don't know. I worry that they will be bored by me, unless they are horselovers, in which case I can talk to them for hours!
Talking horses is different isn't it? Social chit chat however is a complete anathema to me.
I had a meeting this morning with a really lovely person who is going to kick me out of my comfort zone, in a nice way, and a bit of me is dreading her reading this because I've just been very honest, and handed her quite a bit of ammunition. Oh well, it's time my life changed, and she is going to guide me through, I hope.🤞
Writing these blogs through October has been very good for me. After too long away from work, struggling with pain and fatigue, I have had something to focus on every day. Something that is different, and new to me. I can now embed video clips as well as pictures in my Blog posts. You have seen my new logo, which I love, (thanks ByTwig) and now I have started working with a confidence coach.
What a difference a month makes!